Family Work

Remember when you were younger and your parents made you do chores? Do you remember how much you hated it when they made you do them? I mean, the NERVE of parents - asking you to stop playing your mindless video game to clean up your room!? The horrors! After all, you room wasn't THAT messy and that stale piece of pizza had only been sitting on your desk for a week - it hadn't even started molding yet. Sheesh! 

I hope you catch my sarcasm here - because I'm laying it on pretty thick. But the truth is that you probably didn't love doing chores as a kid. I guess some kids might have. We like to call those kids "weirdos." Because, let's face it, even those kids who didn't complain about chores, probably didn't love doing them. They just were really awesome kids who respected their parents and wanted to choose the right.

...I was not one of those kids.

However, as I got older, I began to understand more fully the importance of family work and of chores. As a young newly-wed, I remember thinking that some day I was going to develop the perfect system for doing chores. I was, of course, going to have perfect little angel children who listened ever-so-intently to my every word and then carried out my bidding in the exact way that I wanted them to. Pretty groovy, right?

Well, I do have some pretty rockin' children (and technically, they are perfect - since they are under the age of eight), but they definitely don't do what I want them to all the time - or ever. Do you think there would currently be crayon all over my new TV stand if they did!? What I have found, instead of developing a ground-breaking new way to do chores, is that there really is not perfect system for getting the chores done.

Before I go on too much of a nonsensical ramble here, why don't we look at some reasons why family work is so important. I mean, why should we even make our kids do chores? After all, I think that any mother would agree that there are some jobs that are just easier when we do them ourselves. So why, why, WHY must we continue day in and day out to clean the dishes we just cleaned the day before; fold the same clothes over and over; mop the floor, knowing that within minutes it will once again be covered in dirt and food. ...why!?

I'll tell you why...

The truth is that "family work provides endless opportunities to recognize and fill others' needs. It

thus teaches us to love and serve one another, inviting us to be like Jesus Christ" (Bahr, Manwaring, Loveless, & Bahr, 2012, pg. 213).

Wow. Just wow. While you were growing up and doing all of those chores that you hated so much, did you ever think about how that work - that family work - was helping you become more like the Savior? I know that I didn't. It never crossed my mind. Not once.

President Jean Jarman related experiences from his own life about the principle of family work. As you read his account, think about your views on family work through the years. How did you feel about work when you were younger? How do you feel about it now? How has family work shaped your life?

"There are several influences in my life that have instilled in me a desire to teach our children to work. The first are experiences I enjoyed as a child growing up in the home of wise and wonderful parents… One night dad came home with a shoe-shining kit that had an adaptable shoe tree that fastened to the wall. He encouraged my brother and me to be industrious and earn some money by charging fifteen cents for every pair of shoes we shined. Of course, my parents’ shoes were always well shined, but our big opportunities came when my parents entertained. I would mingle among the guests and ask if any would like to have their shoes shined. Many a person was seen in our home sitting or visiting in his stocking feet… 

During my college years I began to realize that there were more values to work than simply the money one earns. Three individuals made statements that have left indelible impressions upon my mind. 

The first statement came while I was attending the University of Utah. The director of the Institute of Religion… shared with me a philosophy of raising children. He grew a large vegetable garden, and when asked what he was growing, his reply was not the usual tomatoes, corn, or carrots, but simply, “boys.” 

The second statement came from a student at BYU when he offered an explanation as to why he alone among his high school friends had remained active in the Church. He said it was because of a cow. He went on to explain that while his friends had nothing to do after school and began to get into trouble, he had to go home every day to milk the cow. Although he resented it at the time, he since has been very grateful to wise parents and the cow. 

The third statement was made by a returned mission president who commented that many missionaries do not know how to work when they arrive in the mission field. They lack experience in organizing their time and in being self-starters...

Our family work has become a big factor in bringing a higher degree of love, peace, and unity into our home. Many neighbors have commented on how much our children really enjoy each other. I am amazed as I witness our children stretching in their tender years toward self-reliance. Yes, work is a spiritual and essential principle... I bear testimony that family work, when combined with family prayer and family scripture study, will do much to secure the blessings of heaven for families on earth" (source).

In my own life, I have come to understand more the importance of family work. I know I still have a lot to learn - both about family work and how to best teach my children about family work - but let there be no confusion as to my view on the matter.

My parents were always pretty strict when it came to our chores. We were expected to keep our rooms clean and to pick up after ourselves. Not only that, but we were often also asked to assist in doing dishes and laundry, sweeping and mopping and vacuuming. Every Saturday we would scrub

the house from top to bottom - our relentless whines and complaints did nothing to end the torturous cleaning! It did, I'm sure, drive our parents mad though. And don't even get me started on outside work! During the warmer months of the year, we were expected to go outside and pull weeds, mow the lawn, and keep the outside of our house looking presentable. Keep in mind, my parents have never been killer gardeners, and the outside of our house never looked as pristine as they would have liked it to. But, the important part was that they had all seven of us children out there working on it - working together.

As I look back now, I find that I do have some fond memories of the time that I spent working together with my family. It was in those moments that I got to know my family, opened up to my family, and became friends with my family. From those experiences, I have learned to laugh and play during the work - something that I wish I had figured out earlier. I learned the importance of serving not only my family members, but others as well. I learned basic skills like how to clean up after using raw chicken and how to clean a bathroom when there are six boys in the house. I still may not be a pro chef and my husband may be the head of the toilet-cleaning-brigade in our house, but the important thing is that I learned those skills while working - as a family - at home. I am grateful for the experiences I have had with family work.

How has family work impacted your life?

References:

Bahr, K. S., Manwaring, K., Loveless, C., & Bahr, E. B. (2012). The meanings and blessings of family work. Successful marriages and families: Proclamation principles and research perspectives, 213-224.