Recreation. Think about that word for a moment.
Now, think of Family Recreation. How does your view change?
Okay, now let's think about Wholesome Family Recreation. How does your view change even more?
If you're anything like me, your thought process may have gone something like this: "Well, Recreation is doing fun things. Family Recreation is doing fun things with your family. AndWholesome Family Recreation is doing things together as a family that help in bringing family members closer to one another and therefore, closer to God."
I think we can all probably agree that wholesome family recreation is important to the happiness and success in any marriage and family. So what constitutes as wholesome recreation? To some, wholesome recreation may be sitting down every Tuesday night as a family and watching the latest episode of their favorite TV show. To others, it might be spending an evening playing board games as a family. Perhaps your family enjoys hiking or riding bikes. Or maybe annual family vacations are the only wholesome family recreation you are used to.
Whatever your idea of wholesome recreation, it is crucial to our happiness within our families to spend time doing those things that bring us closer to our family members. There is a difference between wholesome recreation between married couples and wholesome recreation with your children.
Wholesome Recreation and Marriage
For married couples, wholesome recreation can be broken into three different categories: parallel, joint, and independent. We will explore each of these three things and talk about the pros and cons of each and the effect they can have on a marriage.
Parallel
Parallel activities are those where multiple family members are doing the same thing, without interacting with each other much. Watching television or movies together, or playing video games
together could both be examples of this type of activity. While there is nothing wrong with parallel activities, these kinds of activities often have a very small positive effect on the marriage relationship.
together could both be examples of this type of activity. While there is nothing wrong with parallel activities, these kinds of activities often have a very small positive effect on the marriage relationship.
In my own marriage, we try to limit the amount of parallel activities. My husband and I are both very social, and so limiting the amount of time we have to talk with one another and communicate would be very difficult for the both of us. Of course, we do enjoy sitting down together once a week and watching the latest episode of "Once Upon a Time."
Joint activities are those in which high levels of communication are present. These might include, but are not limited to: riding bikes, hiking, playing board games, going on walks, etc. These activities tend to lead to the highest marital satisfaction and can help in bringing a husband and wife closer together. These activities promote interaction, communication, and cooperation - which are all key to a healthy, happy marriage.
For my husband and myself, these activities are what we try to spend the bulk of our together time doing. We have found that these activities offer a casual setting for us to get to know each other better and to continue to build up our friendship as husband and wife. It allows us to explore different hobbies and see if we have more interests in common. Together, we have found that we love hiking, volleyball, playing board games, and riding bikes.
Independent
Independent activities are those that are performed alone by individuals. Sometimes, these independent activities can have a negative effect on marriage, especially when spouses crave communication with the other. However, there is nothing wrong with this type of activity in moderation. It is crucial that husbands and wives support each other's individual activity selections. According to a study on independent activities in marriage, "shared activities can be rewarding and valuable in building a healthy marriage, but when spousal support of individual leisure interests wanes, marital satisfaction may be negatively affected" (Baldwin, Ellis, & Baldwin, 1999).
I love to write and have been working on writing a novel for some time now. While this is not an activity that is easy to involve my husband in, he has shown a tremendous amount of support for this hobby of mine. He reads the latest things I've written - commenting on them and helping me to make them better; he helps me sort out various ideas for my book; and he has also been known to take the children out from time-to-time just so I can have some time to myself to work on my novel. I try to pay him back by supporting some of his individual interests as well - such as playing video games. While my husband and I try to focus most of our time on joint activities, it is so important for each of us to have our "me time" to do those things that interest and relax us.
Wholesome Recreation and Children
Many of the habits that children develop when they are young stick with them and can be very difficult to change. For this purpose, it is important for parents to include principles of wholesome recreation through their childrens' lives. "Parents interested in helping their children become flexible and curious should spend quality playtime with them and model good sportsmanship, kindness, and fair play. Time spent playing with children helps them become more secure and independent" (Belsky, Garduque, & Hrncir, 1984).
In helping children learn to develop things like good sportsmanship, it is important for parents not to push their children to learn just one activity - like volleyball or dance. Doing so may limit opportunities for children to grow and play. Studies have shown that play is one of the most
enjoyable experiences for fathers because of the joy they experience from being together with their children. When parents play with their young children, not only do the children have fun, but they also feel loved - something that is so crucial to the development of young children.
My husband and I have always joked that we will make our children learn to play volleyball so that we will all have something fun to do as a family. All joking aside, however, we have tried already to allow our 3-year-old daughter the opportunity to experience many different types of recreation and play. In the summer, our days are filled with trips to the Zoo and Aquarium (on their "Family Deal Days" to save money, of course), as well as visits to various parks and splash pads in the area. My husband is diligent about bringing his football, volleyball, and Frisbee to every park we go to and allows our daughter the chance to experiment with each of these toys. It has been such a great experience for us to see our daughter enjoy various types of recreation and to come closer as a family from it.
In Conclusion
Watch the following video (about 3 minutes) and consider what is said about how in-person family time brings a family closer together. How have you seen this in your own life? Why do you think wholesome family recreation is so emphasized by the Church and stated so plainly in The Family: A Proclamation to the World?
Wholesome Recreation and Children
Many of the habits that children develop when they are young stick with them and can be very difficult to change. For this purpose, it is important for parents to include principles of wholesome recreation through their childrens' lives. "Parents interested in helping their children become flexible and curious should spend quality playtime with them and model good sportsmanship, kindness, and fair play. Time spent playing with children helps them become more secure and independent" (Belsky, Garduque, & Hrncir, 1984).
In helping children learn to develop things like good sportsmanship, it is important for parents not to push their children to learn just one activity - like volleyball or dance. Doing so may limit opportunities for children to grow and play. Studies have shown that play is one of the most
enjoyable experiences for fathers because of the joy they experience from being together with their children. When parents play with their young children, not only do the children have fun, but they also feel loved - something that is so crucial to the development of young children.
My husband and I have always joked that we will make our children learn to play volleyball so that we will all have something fun to do as a family. All joking aside, however, we have tried already to allow our 3-year-old daughter the opportunity to experience many different types of recreation and play. In the summer, our days are filled with trips to the Zoo and Aquarium (on their "Family Deal Days" to save money, of course), as well as visits to various parks and splash pads in the area. My husband is diligent about bringing his football, volleyball, and Frisbee to every park we go to and allows our daughter the chance to experiment with each of these toys. It has been such a great experience for us to see our daughter enjoy various types of recreation and to come closer as a family from it.In Conclusion
Watch the following video (about 3 minutes) and consider what is said about how in-person family time brings a family closer together. How have you seen this in your own life? Why do you think wholesome family recreation is so emphasized by the Church and stated so plainly in The Family: A Proclamation to the World?
References:
Baldwin, J. H., Ellis, G. D., & Baldwin, B. M. (1999). Marital satisfaction: An examination of its relationship to spouse support and congruence of commitment among runners. Leisure Sciences, 21, 117-131.
Belsky, J., Garduque, L., & Hrncir, E. (1984). Assessing performance, competence, and executive capacity in infant play: Relations to home environment and security of attachment. Developmental Psychology, 20, 406-417.
Belsky, J., Garduque, L., & Hrncir, E. (1984). Assessing performance, competence, and executive capacity in infant play: Relations to home environment and security of attachment. Developmental Psychology, 20, 406-417.
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