What do you think of when you think of the word "Father"? You might think of the man who threw you in the air as a kid or who taught you to ride a bike or who spoiled you with ice cream when Mom wasn't around. Some of you might think of the man who was never around because he was always working. Or perhaps you think of that grumpy man sitting in the corner because, even though he was home, he wasn't really there. Maybe you had a father who was strict or easy-going or practically non-existent.
Whatever your own experiences with your father were, you probably feel that they are important. If you were fortunate enough to grow up with a good father in the home, you're probably grateful for it. If you were not so fortunate, you probably wish you were. Of course, I'm just guessing here, but I think it's a pretty safe assumption.
The Proclamation on the Family teaches us that fathers play an important role in our Heavenly Father's plan. It teaches us that "By divine design, fathers are to preside over their families in love and righteousness and are responsible to provide the necessities of life and protection for their families." That's kind of a big responsibility, when you think about it. I mean, can you imagine the stress that is put on a husband and father's shoulders from his responsibility to provide for his family? I don't know about you, but I certainly don't want that weight on my shoulders.
Let's expound on Fatherly responsibilities. There are five major responsibilities to Fatherdom (sure, it's a word...). These are to Preside, Partner, be Present, Provide, and Protect. Today, I would like to focus on just two of these that have been very important in my life: To Preside and To Provide. And no, I didn't just choose both of those because they rhyme - although that is an exciting plus!
To Preside
As we mentioned earlier, the Proclamation on the Family states that fathers are to preside over their families. But what does that mean, exactly? Does that mean that fathers are to be dictators in their families? Are they supposed to tell every member of the family what to do and how and when to do it? Is their job simply to assist in making little people and then ruling those little people?
Absolutely not. If you think that, then you need to go back and read this post on Equal Partnership.
"Fathers are directed to take upon themselves the responsibility of spiritual leadership in family life as part of a loving Eternal Father's plan for family functioning... the manner in which a father is to exercise spiritual guidance among family members is explicitly articulated: 'in love and righteousness.' These words emphasize that perhaps it is only through the gentle application of love and the consistent example of personal spiritual attentiveness that spiritual persuasion can be appropriately exercised" (Brotherson, 2012, pg. 141).
In the ideal home, there is a loving, worthy father who holds the priesthood that presides over the family. The father's duty to preside is of divine origin. That's right, women, we aren't the only ones with divine roles in the family! This patriarchal authority should always be exercised in love and righteousness and for the benefit of the family (source).
As women, we may sometimes find it difficult to step back and allow our husband's to preside over our families. At least, for me it has been a challenge. After all, I'm the one that is home with the children all day. I know their schedules and I know what they need. I know what they like and dislike. Nobody can take care of my children or knows them quite like I do. I struggled for some time to allow my husband to really take charge and preside over our family. Full honesty here: I'm a bit of a control freak. You can imagine my uncertainty at allowing my husband to do small things to preside over our family - presiding over Family Home Evenings, Family meals, etc. At one point I remember complaining to him about how he is unwilling to step up and preside as he should. To that, he responded by explaining that he never felt like I was allowing him to preside because I always wanted to be in charge. Wow, did that make me feel lousy! (And, for the record, he was completely kind when he said it and he didn't say it to make me feel lousy.) All this time I had been thinking that he was just unwilling to step up, when it was actually me that was making him feel like he couldn't.
Wives - do you ever make it difficult for your husbands to preside over your family? If you feel like your husband isn't presiding over your family, you might consider having a little heart-to-heart with him.
Elder Perry said:
To Preside
As we mentioned earlier, the Proclamation on the Family states that fathers are to preside over their families. But what does that mean, exactly? Does that mean that fathers are to be dictators in their families? Are they supposed to tell every member of the family what to do and how and when to do it? Is their job simply to assist in making little people and then ruling those little people?
Absolutely not. If you think that, then you need to go back and read this post on Equal Partnership.
"Fathers are directed to take upon themselves the responsibility of spiritual leadership in family life as part of a loving Eternal Father's plan for family functioning... the manner in which a father is to exercise spiritual guidance among family members is explicitly articulated: 'in love and righteousness.' These words emphasize that perhaps it is only through the gentle application of love and the consistent example of personal spiritual attentiveness that spiritual persuasion can be appropriately exercised" (Brotherson, 2012, pg. 141).
In the ideal home, there is a loving, worthy father who holds the priesthood that presides over the family. The father's duty to preside is of divine origin. That's right, women, we aren't the only ones with divine roles in the family! This patriarchal authority should always be exercised in love and righteousness and for the benefit of the family (source).As women, we may sometimes find it difficult to step back and allow our husband's to preside over our families. At least, for me it has been a challenge. After all, I'm the one that is home with the children all day. I know their schedules and I know what they need. I know what they like and dislike. Nobody can take care of my children or knows them quite like I do. I struggled for some time to allow my husband to really take charge and preside over our family. Full honesty here: I'm a bit of a control freak. You can imagine my uncertainty at allowing my husband to do small things to preside over our family - presiding over Family Home Evenings, Family meals, etc. At one point I remember complaining to him about how he is unwilling to step up and preside as he should. To that, he responded by explaining that he never felt like I was allowing him to preside because I always wanted to be in charge. Wow, did that make me feel lousy! (And, for the record, he was completely kind when he said it and he didn't say it to make me feel lousy.) All this time I had been thinking that he was just unwilling to step up, when it was actually me that was making him feel like he couldn't.
Wives - do you ever make it difficult for your husbands to preside over your family? If you feel like your husband isn't presiding over your family, you might consider having a little heart-to-heart with him.
Elder Perry said:
"The father is the head in his family.
'Fatherhood is leadership, the most important kind of leadership.
It has always been so; it always will be so.
Father, with the assistance and counsel and encouragement of your eternal companion,
you preside in the home... it is a matter of [divine] appointment' (The Quorum, 1973).
Your leadership in the home must include leading in family worship.
'You preside at the meal table, at family prayer... at family home evening;
and as guided by the Spirit of the Lord, you see that your children are taught correct principles...
You give father's blessings... take an active part in establishing family rules and discipline...
you plan and sacrifice to achieve the blessing of a unified and happy family.
To do all of this requires that you live a family-centered life' (The Quorum, 1973)"
(source).
I have seen so many blessings in my life from having a husband who can preside over our family in righteousness, using his priesthood authority to strengthen and uphold our little family.
To Provide
Elder D. Todd Christofferson told a sweet story of one way that his father provided for his mother. As you watch this video (about 3 minutes), consider the importance of father's providing for their families.
Growing up, my mother didn't work, so she and all of her children depended on my father to provide financially for our family. As a child, I always liked having my mom at home with me. I didn't understand then the sacrifices that my father (and mother) had to make so that she could be home with us. Now, I am so grateful for how my father provided for his family. Being able to have my mother at home made all the difference in my life and continues to make a difference.
Now, as a mother, I have the opportunity to stay home with my children. My husband is able to work to earn money. That, mixed with some rocking budgeting skills that we've both developed allows me to be in the best place that I could be: the home. I am so grateful to fathers (especially my father and my husband) and for the hard work that they do for their families.
Of course, my experiences were based a lot on fathers financially providing for their families. This is not the only way for fathers to provide. In addition to providing for the monetary needs of the family, fathers should also "assume the stewardship of meeting children's needs and offering opportunities for their development, as well as dedicating one's time, energy, and resources for the benefit of the next generation" (Brotherson, 2012, pg. 145).
In Conclusion
Watch the following video (4 minutes) and consider the parallels that it makes between our Earthly Fathers and our Heavenly Father. Why do you think our homes on Earth should be patterned after our home in Heaven? You may consider writing down any thoughts you have about your own father during this video. Feel free to give your father a call, a visit, send them a letter - anything just to say "Thank you." I know they would appreciate it!
Brotherson, S. E. (2012). "Honor Thy Father": Key principles and practices in fathering. Successful marriages and families: Proclamation principles and research perspectives, 140-150.
The Quorum of the Twelve Apostles. (1973). Father, consider your ways: A message from the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. Ensign, June 2002, 16.
No comments:
Post a Comment